“. . . suddenly I would hear a rustle and the sound of quick footsteps, the creak of the door. . . “
They say that the fear of the dark is one of the most common fears there is, right up there with public speaking, claustrophobia, spiders, snakes and mice.
Why do we fear the dark?
We shouldn’t, we mustn’t. Only a heart still in the dark fears the dark.
In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:4,5
The light that we have, the light that illuminates our hearts, is not the kind of light that can always be seen with the eyes. Rather it is an illumination of the spirit. A light, literally a life, the life of Christ, who resides in us, and does all the things visible light does only better. It guides us, reveals things to us and dispels darkness. With the true light that brings life we no longer have to fear the darkness, in fact the dark now fears us.
Last week I told you about a time when I was five years old and raiding the refrigerator in spite of the fact that I knew Santa was watching me. What I didn’t tell you was that this was a time of darkness for me, in many ways.
The story reminded me of the house we lived in at the time. It was a big old two story house and we lived on the main floor while the top floor was rented out to someone else.
I was living there with my mother and younger sister because my parents had just gotten divorced so we moved out of our nice new house in the country into this rental in town, while my dad moved into an apartment. My world was turned upside down and I didn’t understand any of it—darkness.
During this time I also became deathly afraid of the dark as well. My bedroom had a window next to my bed that looked right into the window of the house next door, which was only about six feet away, and the house was abandoned. Which to me meant that it was surely haunted. So not only did I have to worry about the spooks in my own bedroom who were just waiting for me to go to sleep so they could get me, I had to worry about the ones in the house next door who were also watching me—darkness.
So I would lay in bed afraid to close my eyes, hearing every creek and pop an old house makes, convinced that it was a monster or a skeleton watching me from the closet or patiently waiting under my bed for me to fall asleep so they could come out and get me or do whatever spooks do in your room in the dead of night. Then suddenly I would hear a rustle and the sound of quick footsteps, the creak of the door, and the fearful scream of a little girl fading away down the hall.
It was my 3 year old sister, with whom I shared a room, getting up as she did nearly every night sometime after we were tucked in, to run crying to my mother’s room because she was scared or had had a bad dream. She would then crawl into bed with my mother leaving me all alone in my dark bedroom. I tried the same trick a time or two but was told I was too old; “Go back to bed.” Darkness
I would spend the next several years afraid of the dark. We would move several times and I would end up sharing a room with a stepbrother, but I would still imagine the spooks in the night patiently waiting for me to close my eyes. Thinking about now I see the truth; I had always made the correlation between my fear of the dark being caused by moving into the scary house next to the scarier house because I wasn’t afraid before that. But looking back now with the eyes of the Spirit illuminated by the true light I think my fear of the dark had more to do with the spiritual darkness that crept into our family and taunted my young heart as my family was ripped apart by divorce and meshed with a family broken by suicide—darkness
Darkness is more than just a lack of sunlight, it is a spiritual condition. Whether it was caused by an actual dark spirit or simply by the virtue of my Dad not being there to bring light into our home—by the darkness caused by the confusion of the situation, seeing and hearing my parents tear each other apart in a really nasty divorce, or by the new dad whom I was being forced to accept, I don’t know, most likely it was a combination of all those things.
Parents are supposed to be their children’s cover until they are old enough to receive the light on their own behalf. And if that is missing—that cover—God still has a hand of protection on those kid’s souls, but their world will be one of darkness.
I was only just understanding this as I was writing it and thinking of no one but my own family as I continue to try to understand the pain of my childhood, so don’t get all bent out of shape here thinking I was out to pick on anyone—just take it as an exhortation to do the best you can in whatever your family situation to keep your kids covered in prayer, to hold the darkness at bay, and do your best to live in the light yourselves.
Like I say over and over again and what I tried to stress in my last book, Hope for Families, ‘every decision you make, especially as a parent, affects so many more people than you think.’ And if you have kids it is no longer about you, if you are married it is no longer about you, and if you are a Christian, it never was about you. It is about Jesus—if he is first in all you do, he will take care of you, orchestrate your steps, illuminate your path and keep you in the light, so you don’t have to look out for you, that’s his job, that is why he invited you into his light.
Selfishness is darkness. The world does not want you to know that because it wants to keep you in the dark, keep you hungry so you will strive for and buy more of what it is selling; ‘You deserve this, you deserve that— you deserve to be happy, you deserve a new car, a new phone, a bigger house, time for yourself—a better looking, sweeter, harder working husband or wife who will make you happy. Go find yourself!’
You know what you find when you go find yourself? The enemy waiting for you with open arms saying ‘step into the dark and do what feels good.’
Well, Jesus had something to say about that.
And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. John 3
You are so much more than that. You are a child of the living God, a child of the light, the light that shines in the darkness, the light that the darkness cannot overcome, does not understand and cannot stand against—there is absolutely no reason to fear him, to put up with him, no reason why you cannot tell him to take a hike—‘you do not scare me, in fact, you do not even bother me, you just let yourself out, don’y let the door hit you in the ass on the way out and by the way; don’t come back— in the name of Jesus; just be gone! And stay away from my kids as well.’